I've been really busy to even have time to blog. Work lately has been driving me crazy. But I can't pass not to rant on this topic: the househelp.
Last, last Thursday night, she told me that she needed to go to her mom in Malabon last Saturday night and she'll be back by Sunday lunch. Even though I told her before that I want a several days notice if she wants to have a day off, I didn't get mad when she asked for a permission to have a day off with such a short notice. I just told her that I don't like short notices if she wants to have a day off.
Last Saturday, we went to Landmark. Dwyn was in the cart and the househelp was watching over him, while I was looking at some bread. Then, Dwyn cried and I heard a lady sort of screamed in surprise. So, I faced Dwyn and the househelp, immediately carried Dwyn and asked the househelp what happened. So the househelp explained to me. I got irritated with her on how Dwyn got hurt while she's supposedly watching him. I asked which body part of Dwyn got hurt and how he got hurt. I got offended with the way the househelp answered me. She raised her voice while explaining, as if she's irritated too. I felt humiliated in front of other people that my househelp was answering me back. I let it passed. I didn't make a big deal out of it.
So, after Landmark, the househelp had her day off. Supposedly, she was to be back last Sunday at lunch time. Lunch came and there was no househelp. By Sunday afternoon, she texted me saying she was in Bulacan with her mom and aunt and that she'll probably be back in the evening. Evening came and passed, still no househelp. I texted her a couple of times as to what time she'll be back. I received no reply. Monday came. I already called our househelp coz she didn't even have the courtesy to reply to my text. She said she had no load and the reloading stations were far, that she'll be back and they'll be leaving Bulacan around 10am. You see, I'm a Bulakeña by blood, so I pretty well know or at least I have an idea how far Bulacan is. Lunch came and still no househelp. The househelp returned by 4pm. When I saw her, I didn't even get mad. I just told her "wag mo na ulit uulitin yan." That's all I said.
When we went to Trinoma last Wednesday, I even bought her a gift for Christmas, which she herself chose. She told me one night that she can't even buy the necklace she wanted from Silverworks which costs P300. And take note, the one she chose when I told her to choose the necklace she wanted was around P700 and not just P300.
Last Friday, I met with friends Tin and Robin to get their wedding invitation. While we're having lunch at Chicken Bacolod Inasal in Trinoma, Dwyn bumped his head on one table and cried, under the watch of the househelp. I asked which part got hurt. I didn't get mad. It was an accident, what can I do? While Dwyn was walking around the mall while the househelp was following him and Dwyn fell, I didn't even react. It was an accident.
But last Friday dinner, I think it's an entirely different story. The househelp was watching over Dwyn, supposedly. Dwyn was closing the door in the kitchen and the househelp was right behind him, just few inches away from him. She saw that Dwyn's fingers was about to get stuck in the door, but she didn't stop the door from closing just in time. So, Dwyn got hurt. My instant reaction was to get mad at the househelp. That's the third time Dwyn got hurt in one day under her watch. I let pass the first two incidents as accidents, but the third one was really not an accident. She was able to anticipate what would happen that's why she tried to block the door from closing but she was too late already coz Dwyn got hurt already. Dwyn was really crying so hard. And so I told the househelp that she's not really taking care of Dwyn when I tell her to watch over Dwyn. And you know what the househelp did? She answered me back and raised her voice at me!!! I got even angrier at her because of that. She said "eh hindi naman natin mapipigilan ang aksidente." I felt like I having a brawl with my sister, and as far as I remember, I only have one sister and not two. I was very much offended that a househelp answered me back when I had every right to get mad at her. Take note, that was the first time I got mad at this househelp. And she was the first househelp I've encountered who answers back to her boss. So, I really shouted at her and told her that she's bastos and doesn't respect me and I told her what right does she have to raise her voice at me. She answered me back with that raised tone of hers, saying "ate, nirerespeto kita. pero kung ipagpipilitan mo na hindi aksidente yun..." If I was only so rude, I could have slapped her really. I know an accident when I see one and I know which one is not accident. She was standing behind Dwyn, saw what was about to happen, but tried to stop the door only at the very last minute. What would I think? She's not taking care of Dwyn after all. I even asked her if that happened to her child, wouldn't she get mad? And she said "natural magagalit ka kasi nasaktan ang mahal mo." What really made boiling mad at her was the way she answered me back. Other househelps I've had or seen do not answer their employers that way. Even I don't do that to my boss.
The following morning, the househelp told me that she'll leave already, with all her things packed. This was around 6am, while I was giving Dwyn a bath because he had a scheduled check up then!!! Imagine that! I got mad at her again and told her that I can't even get mad at her when she has done something wrong. And when I berate her, she would just leave. I even said I'm not even firing her. This time, her tone was low and humble and she said that she just wasn't able to stop the door on time because she's holding a plate on one hand. I told her that the previous night she was saying it was an accident, and her tone was not that humble and I also told her how many hands does she need to close and open a door.
The househelp is still here with us: the agreement is for her to stay until we find another househelp. D. told her to take extra caution when taking care of Dwyn and told her not to raise her voice at me when I get mad at her. D. told her that my reaction to get mad at her was just normal.
Honestly, I feel like she's abusing the leeway I've been giving her. And she's been with us for just 3 months only.
If this happens to you what would you do?
Last, last Thursday night, she told me that she needed to go to her mom in Malabon last Saturday night and she'll be back by Sunday lunch. Even though I told her before that I want a several days notice if she wants to have a day off, I didn't get mad when she asked for a permission to have a day off with such a short notice. I just told her that I don't like short notices if she wants to have a day off.
Last Saturday, we went to Landmark. Dwyn was in the cart and the househelp was watching over him, while I was looking at some bread. Then, Dwyn cried and I heard a lady sort of screamed in surprise. So, I faced Dwyn and the househelp, immediately carried Dwyn and asked the househelp what happened. So the househelp explained to me. I got irritated with her on how Dwyn got hurt while she's supposedly watching him. I asked which body part of Dwyn got hurt and how he got hurt. I got offended with the way the househelp answered me. She raised her voice while explaining, as if she's irritated too. I felt humiliated in front of other people that my househelp was answering me back. I let it passed. I didn't make a big deal out of it.
So, after Landmark, the househelp had her day off. Supposedly, she was to be back last Sunday at lunch time. Lunch came and there was no househelp. By Sunday afternoon, she texted me saying she was in Bulacan with her mom and aunt and that she'll probably be back in the evening. Evening came and passed, still no househelp. I texted her a couple of times as to what time she'll be back. I received no reply. Monday came. I already called our househelp coz she didn't even have the courtesy to reply to my text. She said she had no load and the reloading stations were far, that she'll be back and they'll be leaving Bulacan around 10am. You see, I'm a Bulakeña by blood, so I pretty well know or at least I have an idea how far Bulacan is. Lunch came and still no househelp. The househelp returned by 4pm. When I saw her, I didn't even get mad. I just told her "wag mo na ulit uulitin yan." That's all I said.
When we went to Trinoma last Wednesday, I even bought her a gift for Christmas, which she herself chose. She told me one night that she can't even buy the necklace she wanted from Silverworks which costs P300. And take note, the one she chose when I told her to choose the necklace she wanted was around P700 and not just P300.
Last Friday, I met with friends Tin and Robin to get their wedding invitation. While we're having lunch at Chicken Bacolod Inasal in Trinoma, Dwyn bumped his head on one table and cried, under the watch of the househelp. I asked which part got hurt. I didn't get mad. It was an accident, what can I do? While Dwyn was walking around the mall while the househelp was following him and Dwyn fell, I didn't even react. It was an accident.
But last Friday dinner, I think it's an entirely different story. The househelp was watching over Dwyn, supposedly. Dwyn was closing the door in the kitchen and the househelp was right behind him, just few inches away from him. She saw that Dwyn's fingers was about to get stuck in the door, but she didn't stop the door from closing just in time. So, Dwyn got hurt. My instant reaction was to get mad at the househelp. That's the third time Dwyn got hurt in one day under her watch. I let pass the first two incidents as accidents, but the third one was really not an accident. She was able to anticipate what would happen that's why she tried to block the door from closing but she was too late already coz Dwyn got hurt already. Dwyn was really crying so hard. And so I told the househelp that she's not really taking care of Dwyn when I tell her to watch over Dwyn. And you know what the househelp did? She answered me back and raised her voice at me!!! I got even angrier at her because of that. She said "eh hindi naman natin mapipigilan ang aksidente." I felt like I having a brawl with my sister, and as far as I remember, I only have one sister and not two. I was very much offended that a househelp answered me back when I had every right to get mad at her. Take note, that was the first time I got mad at this househelp. And she was the first househelp I've encountered who answers back to her boss. So, I really shouted at her and told her that she's bastos and doesn't respect me and I told her what right does she have to raise her voice at me. She answered me back with that raised tone of hers, saying "ate, nirerespeto kita. pero kung ipagpipilitan mo na hindi aksidente yun..." If I was only so rude, I could have slapped her really. I know an accident when I see one and I know which one is not accident. She was standing behind Dwyn, saw what was about to happen, but tried to stop the door only at the very last minute. What would I think? She's not taking care of Dwyn after all. I even asked her if that happened to her child, wouldn't she get mad? And she said "natural magagalit ka kasi nasaktan ang mahal mo." What really made boiling mad at her was the way she answered me back. Other househelps I've had or seen do not answer their employers that way. Even I don't do that to my boss.
The following morning, the househelp told me that she'll leave already, with all her things packed. This was around 6am, while I was giving Dwyn a bath because he had a scheduled check up then!!! Imagine that! I got mad at her again and told her that I can't even get mad at her when she has done something wrong. And when I berate her, she would just leave. I even said I'm not even firing her. This time, her tone was low and humble and she said that she just wasn't able to stop the door on time because she's holding a plate on one hand. I told her that the previous night she was saying it was an accident, and her tone was not that humble and I also told her how many hands does she need to close and open a door.
The househelp is still here with us: the agreement is for her to stay until we find another househelp. D. told her to take extra caution when taking care of Dwyn and told her not to raise her voice at me when I get mad at her. D. told her that my reaction to get mad at her was just normal.
Honestly, I feel like she's abusing the leeway I've been giving her. And she's been with us for just 3 months only.
If this happens to you what would you do?
11 comments:
hi ann! di ko alam ang gagawin.. :D siguro find a replacement asap.. baka mas gumaan ang pakiramdam mo pag nawala na sya.. they should help us, instead na dagdagan tayo ng sakit ng ulo..
http://alphadf.11penguin.net/
hi, if i were in your position, i would fire the help! i am not as patient as you esp when it comes to my son. sadly, mahirap din maghanap ng househelp esp ang yaya! i have probs w/ mine din and i always try to keep my cool kse infairness sa yaya mahal nya ang anak ko. hehehe
goodluck with this.
happy holidays!
hay...hirap no? anyway..what i learned from househelpers: whether we are good or not so good to them, we are always perceived as bad!
Daming kwento talaga pag househelp na topic no? Find a replacement asap nalang. You'll never know what will happen kung lagi nalang ganyan. Sa tingin ko hinahayaan lang nya so Dywn mag isa when she should be there all the time. Goodluck sa house help.
Hugs to you sis! Ang hirap ng sitwasyon mo pero you really have to find another one. I had my series of problems with househelps before but what i found useful is setting your expectations and rules at the very beggining. Treating them as part of the family on the early stage is also not good. Marami kasing umaabuso eh.
Like sa pagpapaalam ng leaves...pag hindi sha nagpaalam at least a week before sorry na lang pero di talaga sha mapapayagan. Ganun din sa expectations sa work...dapat clear din.
I treat the househelps fairly pero i'm not overly kind to them also. Kasi umaabuso and hindi alam kung saan lumugar.
I hope this helps Ann. Sana makahanap ka ng ok na kapalit...someone who will love Dwyn.
N!cE
http://www.nicemorning.net
http://www.mommastuff.com
hi everyone!
hay, it just goes to show ang hirap talaga makahanap ng talagang ok na kasama sa bahay. pag tinuring mong family, umaabuso. pag strict employer-employee relationship, di rin nagtatagal. at saka pag ok magtrabaho sa bahay, it doesn't necessarily follow na ok sa bata. ang hirap talaga no? at ang isa pang mahirap it's not easy to find a replacement di ba? as in ilang months kami walang househelp. hay.
bye bye househelp. if she can be that negligent with you around, what more kung wala ka? besides, bastos nga. mahirap ang helper na hindi marunong rumespeto and sumunod sa usapan.
Asar yan, Ann. We don't have those problems since we have been without house-help for a long time.
Hope everything is well now. I wish you a joyous Christmas, hugs to the little boy :)
Hi Ann, sakit ulo talaga sila. I know, I've had around 60+ helpers already ever since I got married (10 years ago). Nobela na mga kwento ko regarding them. I hope you'll find a reliable replacement soon. Wag ka mag tiyaga pag bastos na helper mo sayo. Sarap sampalin noh... And you wouldn't know what she does when you're not around the house.
hi, nanjan pa ba househelp na ito? palitan mo na sya don't wait for worse things to happen. baka nga kaya malakas loob nyan kasi kina-kaya-kaya ka naman nya.
i had a long list of yaya combined for all my three kids. at first i thought if it was because of my attitude but i've seen worse amo than i am, so sige lang pag di ok, alis.
oh puhleaseee... you're treating ur househelp like she owes you her life!. you're the mother you should discipline your kid it's not your katulong's job to do that. Disciplining and explaining to your kid the things that could possibly hurt him would help... I am sure that if your katulong scolded your kid for not doing certain things to avoid accident you would get mad her too. maybe you should start to be a MOTHER not an EMPLOYER! One more thing if you're going to give a gift to your katulong do it because you wanted to and it comes from your heart. What kind a person are you? magbibigay ka ng gift tapos isusumbat mo pa. Geez!!!
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